let’s stop making jokes about girls and start making jokes about white boys
here i’ll start
*white boy voice* chill out man it was just a joke
[walks into class 10 minutes late with a can of Monster] sorry I’m late I got frontpage on Reddit
[wipes cheeto dust off onto cargo shorts] so if you support gender equality does that mean it’s ok to hit women now?
sext: the air smells like honeysuckle and fresh dirt; meet me in the driveway so we can sit in absolute silence, listening to gentle echoes of the 1 a.m. train accompanied by the rapturous humming of my neighbor’s koi pond.
im gonna hire someone to stand behind me and say swag whenever i pause between words
i finally open up to you and all you say is “YOUR ORGANS ARE ALL OVER MY CARPET”????? wow i cant believe this consider this friendship OVER
end all your text posts with a comma, keep ‘em hanging,
F is for vodka
U is for vodka
N is for vodka.
my mom didn’t get me oreos from the grocery store. joke’s on her though when i’m not around to take care of her at an old age